In this reflection we practice saying the thing out loud.
You know what you want. Or at least you have some idea. A sense in your body. A fantasy you return to. Something that sounds good when you imagine it.
Saying it out loud is a different thing entirely.
Asking for what you want makes you vulnerable. It puts your desires into words someone else can hear. It risks rejection, misunderstanding, the possibility that what you want is too much or not enough or weird in some way you cannot predict.
So most people do not ask. They hint. They hope the other person figures it out. They wait for mind-reading that never comes. Or they settle for whatever happens and call it good enough.
But good enough is not the same as good. And intimacy without communication tends to drift toward the average of what both people are willing to tolerate. Not toward what either person actually wants.
Talking about desire is awkward. It does not come naturally to most people. The vocabulary feels clinical or cheesy or too direct. The timing never feels right. The fear of ruining the mood makes silence seem safer.
But the mood you are protecting by staying silent is not the one you actually want. You are protecting a version of intimacy that does not include your real preferences. That is not ruining something. That is building something true.
Start small. You do not have to disclose everything at once. You can start with what you are enjoying. With what you would like more of. With a gentle redirect toward something that works better.
The person you are with cannot read your mind. They are also nervous. They also have things they want to say. When you speak first, you make space for them to speak too.
Asking for what you want is scary. It gets easier with practice. It is still always a risk. But it is the only way to get what you actually want instead of what you are willing to settle for.