It used to be something you wanted. Now it is something you schedule or avoid or endure.
In this reflection we examine when desire became obligation.
There was a time when you wanted to be touched. When the anticipation of contact lit something up in you. When your body leaned toward another body without having to be convinced.
Now touch feels like another item on the list. Something to schedule between other obligations. Something your partner wants that you are supposed to provide. The word that comes to mind is duty. Not desire.
This shift happens quietly. No single moment marks the change. One day you notice that intimacy has become transactional. That you are doing it to avoid conflict or to meet a quota or because it has been too long since the last time.
When touch becomes a chore, the body notices. It stops responding the way it used to. Arousal becomes harder to access. The experience feels hollow even when technically functional. You go through the motions without being present for them.
This is not about libido. It is about relationship. When connection frays, desire often follows. When resentment builds, the body holds it. When you feel obligated rather than invited, something in you shuts down.
The solution is not more touch. Forcing frequency does not restore desire. It deepens the sense of obligation. The body knows when it is being overridden.
The solution is examining what changed. What need is not being met outside the bedroom that shows up as absence inside it. What conversations have not happened. What patterns have calcified into routines.
Sometimes desire returns when other things repair. When communication improves. When the relationship feels reciprocal again. When touch is an expression of connection rather than a substitute for it.
If touch has become a chore, that is information. Not about your body. About your relationship. About something that needs attention beyond the bedroom.
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